Eyes ARE the gateway to the soul, so stare into them to truly understand others
This is part 5 where I give myself 5 minutes each day to delve in deeper on the22 life learnings after 7 days at burning man.
Everyone is a human being just like you. No matter their status, reputation, or fame, we all poop and cry.
There were two exercises I practiced at Burning Man that really taught me this lesson.
The first was at a random camp my friend invited me one evening. They were having a get together to reunite after a year. And after settling everyone down, you would imagine the first exercise would be one of those traditional “say hi to someone next to you and ask how you’re enjoying the first few days at Burning Man.” No. The leader of the group challenged the 30 people to the following:
“Skip all the small talk. Let’s challenge ourselves to really get to know someone without any words. Everyone stand up, walk to someone random, place your right hand over their left shoulder, and stare into their eyes with 4 deep breaths. Then smile, hug, and find the next person. We will do this for the next 10 minutes.”
A few days after, I met up with my old high school friend Eric in a cuddle puddle station 20 feet above the ground. Feeling very zen, but disconnected after months of not talking, I asked if he wanted to try the exercise above. He surprised me by taking one step further:
“Let’s do what you are proposing, but instead of 4 deep breaths, let’s do a continual 5 minutes straight.”
During both of these exercises, you really get to know someone deeply. Without any distracting words, or eyes looking away, or mind thinking about something else, all you see is them for who they really are. It’s so true what they say about people’s eyes being the gateway to the soul. I saw everyone as just another human being like me, filled with emotions, challenges, and in want of deep connections with others.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to truly depict the energy I felt afterwards. So the challenge I give to you is to go reconnect with someone you haven’t seen or talked with in a while. Or someone you feel you connect with. Propose either one of these exercises. Yes it will feel uncomfortable as many of us are prone to avoid eye contact. But try it. And let me know how you feel after in the comments. Remember, the only rule is no looking away. Keep it real and authentic.
